My OWN Family !!

By the time this post is published , many of you who will likely know about this blog from my Instagram , would know I'm having my own family . At my time of writing this , I'm halfway through my pregnancy and I'm getting married in less than a month . 

I've gotten many doubts from people as to why I would like to settle down so early (mainly because I've kept my pregnancy under the covers for 5 months) , if I'm sure of my fiancé and stuffs . Not so much something I would like to hear 5 months pregnant but humans are humans right . However , I do have to point out the fact that I've been more realistic than ever since I found out about my beautiful baby , that many people's opinion actually mean absolute nothing to me , but since I'm not an influencer or anything , I can still address all of em . I might sound arrogant or harsh in the rest of the post which I would TRY not to (?) , but bare with me if you wanna hear what I have to say . 😊

Settling down at an early age

Yes , I am 19 as most of you know and it's honestly not an age to even consider settling down because stereotypically , "I'm not ready" . In my perspective , I have never really consider myself "not ready" for anything (?) I've always been a step ahead of my peers and doing the most bizarre bullshit and getting into trouble . I started dating at age 13 , had many inconsistent relationships till 2014 when I had my first long term (not so) relationship . Toxic but last 1.5years , another for about the same duration and shorter ones after but I'm not gonna be talking about past relationships in this post haha . I did have a fair share of hell I went through for the past couple of years and honestly , this year took a turn for me , which I might come up with another end year blogpost , considering the immense amount of time I have , like writing this at 5.41am on a Friday morning . 

Back to main point , I would often ask the people who ask me if I'm actually sure or ready , when , will one truly ever be ready ? It's completely normal for most people to want to settle at a much later stage in their life when they have accomplished what they want or when they are more stable in life ; done with education , stable in their job , some may want to hit a certain amount of savings before considering to settle down , some want to achieve a sense of self accomplishment such as traveling and getting the things they want before thinking of having their own family .

However , there are people who want to settle down early , taking myself for an example . My goal was to settle by 21 years old , which is honestly ridiculous to many and have been realised 2 years in advance . I've gotten unsolicited remarks from people like "what values are you going to teach your child ?" , "you are not financially ready" so on and so forth (I don't give a shit) . Yes , I am only halfway through my intended education , I do not have a stable job or even a job at this point of time but then again , so what ? My baby is already halfway here .

Everyone has their own definition of "ready" and mine is simply tougher . I grew up in a not so well to do family with just my 2 mother figures and my brother , but I had almost whatever I wanted since young and honestly , I was spoilt as shit . Nevertheless , I had an amazing childhood and I rebelled really early , at age 10 . My mother have never failed to teach me to go for what I want and do what I think is right , so long that I don't mess with the law , which clearly wasn't what my brother and I care at some point of our lives . Despite all the setbacks , I would like to say that we grew up pretty well . Definitely more to improve but my mother did well . 

I wouldn't say this baby was very well planned but he came anyways . I might have to struggle through quite abit with my fiancé in the near future but I've always told him this , "I'm not afraid to work 2 jobs and do whatever it takes , as long as I'm able to feed my baby ." I've never been one to be afraid of hardship and in fact I enjoy them and see them as challenges . I am also super thankful for my incredible mother who has offered to help me take care of my baby . 

In short to end this point , I'm excited for what's to come in 2020 .

"Are you sure about this/him ?"

Moving on , I get this too . Coming from people who walked through some times with me , I'm cool , otherwise , not so much haha . Those I'm close with , know me better than to ask this honestly but ANYHOO . 

My question back is : HOW will you ever be sure of someone ?

I don't believe in COMPLETELY understanding your partner before settling or what not , because people change all the time . We are always changing , for the better or worse . So it take forever to get to know someone but to be in a marriage or even a relationship is to compromise and work together through thick and thin , "if you really love the person" . Which to me is bullshit hahaha . Since I started dating at a really young age , I came to understand that , a relationship built from feelings has a very weak foundation , because feelings fade . Being committed to someone , it's for you to constantly find something new in them to love about . That's how you keep going . Many broken relationships are blamed on the lost of interest or feelings but sometimes , it's really just the couple not into working the relationship out . 

The funny thing about my fiancé and I , is that we both have similar mindset in term of goals . He too , wanted to settle at a fairly young age with his previous girlfriend , which unfortunately (not) did not work out for them . He stayed off relationship for awhile before he met me and honestly , I wasn't looking for anything this year , but that's for another blog post . We don't fancy the need to have much luxury in terms of branded , travels etc . We are comfortable and contented with whatever little we have , which was honestly why I came to love him . I've met people who wants to achieve their esteem needs in terms of being able to do what they want , expensive hobbies and such when they weren't even able to fulfil their basic needs . 

However , this does not verify if I'm sure of him . We are both , two very flawed individuals who see a potential in working a relationship out together . I'm not the easiest woman to be with but he has been the most patient and most enduring man I've been with . Honestly , the best but he still annoys me very much with his flaws and I , have many pet peeves . What I also appreciate is that he never fails to try and make me have a better day even though he might have had a shit ass day of his own , in short , places my needs before his . 

At the end of the day , I guess I am still happy that it's him I'm doing this with .

"Don't you think it's too fast?"

Referring this back to my first point of settling down early . This is also my most annoyed question at . Even more so , it comes from people who BARELY know me .

My fiancè and I met this year and we will be only 8 months together officially when we get married . However , as much as I understand the "too fast" mindset of people , I never agreed on it . I don't know what's the stereotypical number of years a couple need to be together for before thinking of settling down , but I've seen couple been together for a number of years and still not thinking or wanting to settle down . Whether they are ready or not is not my call . 

My fiancè and I have went through quite a fair amount of things since we were a new couple , to make it evident to some people , we have been staying together since we got official . So yeah , then brings about , of course it's expect for a pregnancy to come . My defense to that is , maybe some people are right that fertility is on the high end this couple of years but to me , pregnancy isn't easy . You may do it a 100 times and not get it with one person but just 1 time with another and get it . 

We do still argue over the slightest things which honestly , right now , I would say it's just me and my hormones out of control . Nevertheless , I still don't see how we are going "too fast" . We have honestly , crazily , spoke about marriage even before we were dating . We just honestly think alike and we've been sure of each other since , well , before we were even dating . 

Nevertheless , people will always have something to say . Just never forget to reflect on yourself before you judge another . With this , I hope it clarifies whatever some of you have to say or ask about my life and I can't wait to write more .

To end this off , here's something to take away .

"It's not about the 1 million in your bank , it's about whether you're gonna wake up tomorrow or not ." - Kumar